Freedom From Insanity
by Forlay
Summary: What will happen to the Animorphs when it finally gets to one of them?


#  Freedom From Insanity

##  By: Forlay

###  Chapter One

###  Rachel

"Hi, Tobias," I whispered softly when he perched in the tree outside my window. "Where have you been? I've missed you." He didn't answer. I spoke a little louder, "Tobias? Over here! It's Rachel!" He still didn't answer. "Tobias? Did I do something wrong?" I felt my eyes well up with tears. Why was he ignoring me? Didn't he love me anymore?   
"Rachel?"   
I spun around to face the door. "Tobias?!"   
The voice sighed. "No, Rachel." Then I recognized the voice, "Oh, hi, Joe."   
"Hi," he replied. "I have a visitor for you."   
"Really?" I asked. I rarely had visitors anymore.   
"It's your cousin, Jake." The door opened wider to alow Jake in.   
"Hi, Rachel," he said softly.   
"Hi, Jake," I greeted cheerfully. "Have you talked to Tobias lately? He's right outside the window, but he won't answer me."   
Jake glanced out the window quick, saw Tobias, and shook his head. "Rachel, you know that's not Tobias."   
"Yes it is!" I shouted. "You know it, and I know it! He's trapped as a hawk, and that hawk always comes by my window, it's Tobias!"   
He shook his head sadly, almost looking as if he was going to cry, which scared me. Jake's the leader! He doesn't cry, not even around Cassie! "Listen, Rach, some of our friends came by with me, you want to see them, too?"   
"Sure," I said reluctantly. I really wanted to see Tobias. Maybe I could convince him to morphh human and come in here....   
Jake left and Cassie came in. "Hi, Rachel," she greeted cheerfully, sitting down on the small cot next to me. "How've you been?"   
"Lonely," I said. "Tobias doesn't talk to me, and no one here believes that I need to get out of here. I need to help you all fight! And I need to see why Tobias won't talk to me, and I obviously can't do that while I'm in here."   
"Rachel, if we're all fighting these aliens by 'morphing' into animals, how come I can't? How come _you _can't to get yourself out of here?"   
"You're in on it," I whisper. "You and the people who run this place. You know I'm a threat to the Yeerks, and perhaps even the human race 'cause of my drive to fight, so you locked me up here. You won't morph in front of me 'cause then I won't seem crazy, and I'm given some sort of sedative so I can't morph."   
"Rachel...the doctors have asked us to bring in someone else. They want to prove to you that there are no Yeerks, at least we don't fight them, and that Tobias _isn't_ that bird outside your window." She walked to the door, stuck her head out and said something quietly. She left and a moment later someone else walked in.   
He was fairly tall, almost as tall as me when I stood up. He had shaggy blond hair and dreamy blue eyes. Eyes that were troubled as he walked in, as if he didn't know what to expect. Eyes that I knew, and had fallen in love with the moment I saw them.   
Tobias. As a human.   
Panicked, I looked out the window. _That_ was Tobias. Not this...this...imposter. I had to get someone in here, someone had to arrest this guy. You can't go around impersonating people. So I opened my mouth and started to scream.

###  Chapter Two

###  Tobias

I have no idea why Rachel started screaming then. I just walked into the room, then she goes beserk! After a moment of her screaching, several of the psyciatric hospital's attendants rushed into the room, pushing me back into the hall where Jake, Cassie and Marco were waiting anxiously.   
"What happened?" Jake asked when I left the room.   
I shook my head, bewildered. "She saw me, glanced out the window, and started screaming."   
Cassie shook her head sadly. "It was probably overload for her. She's convinced that that bird outside her window is you. Is it even a red tailed hawk?"   
I shrugged. "I didn't even see it."   
Marco stood up. "Guess I'll have to come back and see mighty Xena another day, I have to get home."   
Cassie glared at him, "Marco, don't say that. If she hears it she'll know we've been lying."   
"Cassie, she's in a padded room right now, screaming her head off, and probably getting a sedative that'll calm her down and supress the morphing again. She didn't hear me call her Xena."   
She sighed. "I guess you're right, Marco. I'm just...I don't know. I can't stand seeing my best friend like that. She was the strongest of us all, why did she crack?"

###  Chapter Three

###  Rachel

I was in the Yeerk Pool. Human, alone, vulnerable. A voice in my head told me to sneak back out, just as I had snuck in, or morph grizzly and inflict as much damage as possible before leaving. But I was frozen in my shaddowy hiding place behind the stairs, watching in horror as the scene around the pool unfolded.   
Mom had taken Sara and Jordan out with her, as she'd been doing quite a bit for the last month. Every three days or so, in fact. Afraid that they were controllers, I followed them this time. Straight to the Yeerk Pool.   
I should have turned right around when I saw them enter the pool, but I made myself keep going. I needed to see the Yeerks drop out of their heads before I'd believe it, and then see what kind of controllers they were: Voluntary or involuntary. I hoped it was the latter. I hoped with all my heart.   
Sara was the first of my family to be led to the pier. She calmly kneeled down and turned her head, allowing the slug out of her head. As soon as it had plopped down into the Pool, she started crying hysterically. The Hork-Bajir led her to a cage, throwing her in like I throw dirty laundry in the basket. The same happened with Jordan, she was kicking, screaming, and crying at the Hork-Bajir to let her go as she was shoved in the cage with Sara.   
Then came Mom. She, too, kneeled calmly to let the Yeerk out of her head. But instead of yelling at the Hork-Bajir who helped her up, she graciously accepted their help. And instead of being carried forcefully to a cage, she calmly walked by them to the human cafeteria.   
"No..."   
"NO!" I sat upright in my bed, looking around panicked. It took me a minute to realize I wasn't in the Yeerk Pool. I was in the hospital where...where Mom had put me. No, the Yeerk, I reminded myself. It was all the Yeerk's fault that I was in this dingy room, sleeping on a hard cot, eating disgusting food. But why didn't anybody believe me? Not the doctors, not the Animorphs, not even Cassie or Tobias. They all thought I was crazy. But I wasn't.   
Was I?

###  Chapter Four

###  Marco

I went back to the hospital the next day to see Rachel. All of us tried to see her once a week, hoping to see some improvement. It'd been nearly two months since it'd happened, and she'd been in here a month.   
What I couldn't figure out is why she was here. We could never find out what had happened to her to make her like this. One day she'd been normal, psyco Rachel, then the next, her mom couldn't even get her out of bed. She told us later that Rachel just kept muttering "No, no, not them," under her breath, she never even acknowledged her mom's presence. Later she started babbling about the Yeerks, after several counseling sessions, it was decided that the best place for her was here, the psyciatric hospital. Where we all joked I'd end up first, Rachel was never planned to be here.   
We all believed Rachel when she talked about the Yeerks, but we couldn't admit that to her, we couldn't risk that some of the doctors here were controllers and she'd blab about us to them. Althought it seemed pretty safe so far, otherwise Rachel would be infested and out of here, probably with a miraculous recovery. So we kept denying that we could morph, telling her it wasn't the drugs that kept her from morphing, although it was the truth, that it had all happened in her imagination. That the birds she saw outside her window weren't Tobias, although I suspected they sometimes were. He hated doing this to her more than any of us, except maybe Cassie.   
By now the head nurse knew me and who I wanted to see, so she just nodded at me and called up to the attendant of Rachel's floor that I was coming up.   
When I got there, Rachel was staring out her window. For a moment I was afraid she was talking to 'Tobias' again, but when she looked at me, I could tell she hadn't been. For the past two months her eyes had had a clouded, unfocused, look, but now they looked into mine with icy clarity. "Oh. What're you doing here?"   
"Nice to know I'm wanted," I said as I walked farther into the room, allowing the door to close behind me.   
She sighed and made room on her cot for me to sit down. Nervously, I sat down. Before when I visited, she'd acted like a bomb that would go off any second, now she was just acting like a restless girl, perhaps after being grounded for the day. "Come to try and convince me we aren't Animorphs? That none of us can morph? That the bird that was just talking to me isn't Tobias?"   
I glanced out the window, in the tree out there was perched a red tailed hawk. An extremely familiar red tailed hawk. It made a point of not making eye contact with me, it wasn't too hard to guess that this wasn't an ordinary hawk.   
"No, Rachel, I'm not going to do any of that, I just came to talk. How've you been?" Yeah, stupid question, but for once in my life, I couldn't think of something to say. This wasn't a situation that lent itself to joking.   
She shrugged and stared whistfully out the window. "Miserable. I keep having the dreams...of what happened..." her eyes clouded over, someone was obviously talking to her in thought speak, I glanced back at Tobias again, who still refused to make eye contact with me.   
"He can't hear what we're saying," Rachel explained. "But he knows me well enough to know what I want to..._need_ to say. Mind listening?"   
"No, of course not," I said. "But are you sure you don't want me to get Cassie? She's good at this. Or maybe one of the doctors...?"   
She shook her head. "I need to talk now, and if I say anything more to those doctors, they'll probably drag me down to the Yeerk Pool and shove my head in that filthy pool. Don't deny it, Marco, I know it exists. I wouldn't be in here if it didn't."   
"Alright, Rachel." I leaned back against the wall, preparing myself for another of her off the wall stories. "Go ahead."

###  Chapter Five

###  Cassie

"You're kidding," Jake said when Marco had finished his story.   
"I swear that's what she told me," Marco replied.   
We were all in the barn. Ax was in human morph, chewing on a piece of straw, and Tobias was up in the rafters, while the rest of us were just lounging around while Marco told us what Rachel had told him earlier that afternoon.   
"So you're saying this all happened because she found out her mother and sisters are controllers?" I asked. I wanted to believe it, part of me needed to know what had caused Rachel to end up as she was now. But it just seemed...off that her undoing would be her family being controllers.   
"Not just controllers," Marco corrected. "Her mother is a voluntary host."   
I don't know about you guys, but I believe her, > Tobias said.   
"Of course _you _would," Marco said, glancing up at Tobias. "You've been--"   
Shut up, Marco, > Tobias interupted.   
Jake looked at Marco, then looked up at Tobias, "What have you been doing?" Tobias turned his head away, not wanting to look at us.   
"You've been visiting her, haven't you?" I asked softly. Tobias didn't say anything.   
"Tobias, you should have known better!" Jake shouted. "No wonder she hasn't gotten any better, you've been feeding her fantasies!"   
I couldn't just abandon her there, Jake, > Tobias said stubbornly. I never agreed that hiding the truth from her was the rght idea, especially when she made it clear she knew the truth. I didn't visit often-- >   
"Just often enough for her to get it throug her head that every bird who landed in that tree would talk to her. That didn't help her case, it just convinced everyone she really _was_ insane."   
"Stop it, you two, just stop!" I interupted. "Arguing doesn't solve anything. We need to find out if what Rachel said is true. At least one person should be surveying her house all the time, following them if her mom takes Jordan and Sara anywhere." I looked up at Tobias, "Think you could handle most of the work?"   
Of course. >   
"I can assist, too. Assist. Ist. Tuh," Ax said.   
"Good. As soon as you find anything out, tell the rest of us." It felt weird taking on the leader role, but I knew it had to be done. Jake wasn't acting like himself. Rachel was his cousin, this had put alot of strain on him.   
A few minutes later, everyone was leaving. Before Jake could leave, however, I grabbed his arm. "Stay for a minute? I need to talk to you."   
"Sure. What's up?"   
"I could ask the same of you," I replied. "What was with blowing up at Tobias earlier? That's not like you at all."   
He shrugged. "I don't know, Cassie. I guess I'm just stressed. I mean, Rachel's been in there for a month, and she could have been out by now possibly, if Tobias hadn't kept going to her in his hawk form."   
"We all have different way of dealing with this," I told him. "Tobias' is to keep visiting her. He's had faith in her this entire time, and maybe it was that faith, the faith that the rest of us didn't have, that's pulled her out of it."   
"We don't know that she has," he said stubornly.   
I nodded, "True, we don't. But I think she has. As does Marco and Tobias. Go ahead, remain skeptical, you can "I told you so" when we find out it was just the ramblings of a mad girl, but untill then, chill, will you?"   
He nodded sullenly, realizing I was right. He gave me a quick hug, then walked out of the barn.

###  Chapter Six

###  Rachel

My sleep that night was again plagued with nightmares. I woke up several times, each time fearful of going back to sleep, not wanting to face the images my memory conjured up.   
When the sun began to filter through the tree outside my window, I decided not to go back to sleep. Tobias had promised to come by early, anyway, and I didn't want to miss him.   
A bird landed on a branch in the tree. A hawk, but not Tobias. I nearly started to talk to the bird, out of habit, but I realized just how _stupid_ that was. Maybe I really did deserve to be in here, if I talked to every bird that landed in the tree.   
TSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR   
The hawk looked up when he heard the screech of another hawk, and quickly flapped his way out of there. A moment later, another hawk took his place. Hi, Rachel. >   
I smiled, "Hi, Tobias." I know he can't hear me, the glass is too thick, but one of his many 'useless' talents is lip-reading. He can figure out what I'm saying most of the time.   
Rachel, I think you're going to be getting out of there soon. >   
"What?! When? How?"   
Marco told us what you told him, about your mom and sisters, everyone was a little skeptical, but we've been spying on them and found out you were telling the truth. So you've got six people on your side, and if you keep acting the way you have been the past few days, the doctors are sure to pronounce you cured. >   
"If I was out there and you had lips I'd kiss you!" I said excitedly.   
I'll hold you to that promise, > he said, I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Anyway, I'm not going to be able to visit like this for awhile, if you're seen talking to a bird you're never going to get out of here, but I'll visit you whenever possible in human morph. >   
I sighed, he was right of course, but it just seemed so...so normal to be talking to him like this. Geez, maybe I was insane if I thought that. "See you later," I said, and turned away from the window.   
Just minutes later, the door to my 'room' opened a crack. "Hi, Rachel, may I come in?"   
"Sure, Joe," I said cheerfully. I wasn't happy to see him, more like I needed to talk to someone. When I first got in here, I kept myself occupied by talking to myself. Yeah, no wonder everyone thought I was nuts, but sane people don't do that, and my sound-proofed room was eerily quiet.   
"Hey, your doctor says you can come out of your room and into the common room today. Want to?"   
"Not right now, a friend told me yesterday that he'd be here this morning."   
A voice crackled on Joe's walkie-talkie, he un-clipped it from his belt and put it to his ear to understand it better. A moment later he said, "Speak of the devil, you've got a visitor right now. Jayne downstairs thinks it's your friend Tobias."   
"Yep, he's the one who said he'd be by. After he's gone, I'd like to go to the common room."   
"Gotcha', Rachel." The door closed, a minute later, Tobias walked in.   
"You aren't going to scream this time, are you?" He asked with mock apprehension.   
I looked down, embarresed, "I'm really sorry about that."   
He sat down next to me, "Hey, it's not your fault. I'm not going to hold it against you."   
I shook my head, "I'm still sorry. Not only for that...but everything. I should have handled this all better. It would have saved everybody a lot of trouble."   
He gave me a gentle hug, "Rachel, I can't blame you, and nobody else does, either. Everybody would handle news like that differently."   
"I have a question, though, why did everyone deny the Yeerk's existance? Why did they insist you were just a boy I knew from school, that all of us were just 'normal kids'? And why the heck can't I morph?"   
"Jake's idea," Tobias said sullenly. "He thought we could speed up the heeling process by denying the existance of everything you thought was true."   
"Smart, real smart," I said sarcasticaly. "And the morphing thing?"   
"We don't know for sure, but we think it's the medicine you were given, it had some reaction with whatever the morphing power does to you and it was canceled out."   
"Man, that sucks," I said. "Anyway, you better be going soon. But tell everyone I say hi, will you? Oh, and the doctors must think I'm doing better, they're gonna let me into the common room as soon as you leave."   
"Common room?"   
"TV, board games, human contact, things like that," I explained. "It'll be the first time I've been allowed out of this stupid room the entire time I've been here."   
The door opened, and Joe came back in. "Hey, sorry to cut the visit short, but visiting hours are over."   
"Allright," Tobias said. "I'll talk to you later, Rachel."   
"Bye, Tobias." I watched as he left the room, then followed Joe down to the common room, enjoying the hard won opportunity to move freely.

###  Chapter Seven

###  Rachel

_Three weeks later..._

Nervously, I fidgeted in my chair while I waited for the directors to file into the hearing room. Today was the day I'd been waiting for for almost two months, the chance to prove once and for all that I was as sane as anyone else in the room.   
Sitting behind me were my friends, the Animorphs, including Ax and Tobias in human morph, along with my mom and dad and my sisters. Having Mom here din't exactly calm my nerves, for all I knew, on the ride home today we'd be taking a detour to the Yeerk Pool, not my idea of a fun welcome home party.   
The hearing went by quickly. I think the directors already had a good idea that I'd be getting out of here, but they still needed to do some tests to make it official. Anyway, within the hour, I was a free girl again.   
My family and friends swarmed me when I was given a clean bill of mental health. Tobias ended up next to me. "Remember your promise?"   
I grinned, "Sure do." Ignoring everyone else around us, I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a long kiss. "Will that do?" I asked when we broke apart.   
"Hm...I guess."

_Author's Notes: Hey, just want to say this fic goes out to the ever awesome Gremlin for inspiring me to write this fic. You rock!!!_


End file.
